Woke up early on Saturday
My tie was still on and my hat was
Resting on the bed post
Sunglasses lost in the sheets
But oh, who will I call?
Chevy’s an #ss and Gilda’s got a cold
I always took the fall
It didn’t matter then
Because John would always laugh
But he’s not laughing now
Rushed to call my agent on Monday
I need new work to get my head out of this
It’s with a young kid named Murray
It’s a ghost flick but the hell with it
And oh, who will I call?
Chevy’s an #ss and Gilda’s got a cold
I always took the fall
It didn’t matter then
Because John would always laugh
But he’s not laughing now
I knew the guy he used to buy from
I may have even introduced them
He was a skinny guy from Brooklyn
Arms always full of women
So I decided to take my shotgun
And take a long walk to Brooklyn
I’d make him put the outfit on
And strap him into the chair
Then I stuffed everything in his mouth
Everything he was holding
I left him there to shout
I had an audition
And we have to move on
Without our brother John
And everybody’s got to sing new songs
So Elwood, it’s time
To move on
And oh, who will I call?
Chevy’s an #ss and Gilda’s got a cold
I always took the fall
It didn’t matter then
Because John would always laugh
But man, it matters now
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