It was 10 O’clock on a windy April morning
The hurricane that destroyed Honolulu was moving north to what is Florida
Experts forecasted that the weather would remain unpredictable for the next few days
I checked my and all my equipment and logged them in my diary
My piano still needed tuning
Above me in my attic four conflicting forces were about to gather
Perhaps only I know what the day would hold
I-I-I don’t think it’s too early to have a
Eh, would you care to join me Mr Stapleton?
Oh no not for me Mr Hager, I only drink at weddings
He-yes, that’s ehh, that’s whеre I started, cheers
Mr paperman and his cliеnt have arrived
Ah well, send them in
This divorce it’s just a formality isn’t it, Mr Hager
I mean we just sign the papers and go our separate ways like we always have, don’t we?
Yes, Mr Stapleton as you know ehm-ehm-ehm…
Ah, good morning, Mr ehm-haha
Paperman, I’m sorry I’m late, I was delayed by winds on the
Thank God for the I say, some of the cheaper cars were going backwards
Hello, Lulu
Bonjour, Walter
Before we sit down to discuss anything I would like to put it on my record that my attention is drawn to a gaping hole
I-I ehh
In the floor on which we stand there’s a large and gaping hole
Begin with clarifying whether this hole is with or without
Aha-a-a, as you’re just all clear that up, I’m not actually responsible for the hole, although it is my office, it belongs to the man downstairs, ehh the hole no-not-not the office eh eh-eh
Yes, as you probably guessed he’s pianist and this is his hole, Mr Blint was the only owner
That sir, that’s Blint with a b?
He was the only owner that was willing to sell when this block was constructed, so ah-ah
As a compromise he developed and technically that hole is is-ah his attic
It has never been my business in other people attics, it never has been and it never will be, an attic is not an environment for serious negotiation, I never negotiated anything ever in an attic, and any business of any in an attic has been under
If this divorce is to succeed as we all pray it will, it must be properly conducted in an agree word
Ms
Of trusted this subject to contention
I don’t think my client has any objections
Oh, eh I’m sorry, I dozed of again
Lulu and I, have discussed it all in complete agreement that we divorce one with no agrimony or
Fine words Mr Stapleton, very fine words, that’s all they are aren’t they, words
It’s actions we need Mr Stapleton, actions speak louder than I do
Ooh, whatever you say, Mr pa-pa-pa-pa-paperman
When do you keep out to this?
Let me begin with a statement that our trust will not be a matter of dispute
I am Jewish and always have been, I’m not ashamed and I’m not proud of it, the whole thing is not an issue for me, it’s irrelevant and I see no reason why I’m being Jewish should be driven into this discussion, at all
The fact that I’m being massacred personally for thousands of years is neither here nor there, so can we at least agree on one thing, namely, not to waste our time discussing whether I’m Jewish or not
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