Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died
And he got his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide
Some folks say she didn’t do it, and others say she did
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. was a problem sort of kid
‘Cause you can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it’s planned as a surprise
No you can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbors love to criticize
She got him on the sofa where he’d gone to take a snooze
And I hope he went to heaven’ cause hе wasn’t wearing shoes
Lizzie kind of rеarranged him with a hatchet, so they say
And then she got her mother in that same old-fashioned way
But you can’t can’t chop your momma up in Massachusetts
Not even if you’re tired of her cuisine
No, you can’t chop your momma up in Massachusetts
You know it’s almost sure to cause a scene
Well, they really kept her hoppin’ on that busy afternoon
They really made her hustle and when all was said and done
She’d removed her mother’s bustle when she wasn’t wearing one
Oh you can’t chop your momma up in Massachusetts
And then blame all the damage on the mice
No you can’t chop your momma up in Massachusetts
That kind of thing just isn’t very nice
Now, It wasn’t done for pleasure and it wasn’t done for spite
And it wasn’t done because the lady wasn’t very bright
She’d always done the slightest thing that mom and dad had bid
They said, “Lizzie cut it out! ” so that’s exactly what she did
But you can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk
No, you can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York
You can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts—
Shut the door, lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet!
You can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts—
Such a snob, I heard it said
She met her pa and cut him dead!
You can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts—
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise
All join in in a habeas corpus!
No, you can’t chop your poppa up in Massachusetts—
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York!
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Misbehavin’ Maidens Lyrics – Fall River Hoedown