Temperature’s dipping below zero
You’re wearing more and more layers of clothes
And my oil bill
So large and terrible
You got sweatpants on your sweatpants
Eating spaghetti’s gonna be difficult with those gardening gloves on
Wish I could keep you warm
The heating bill’s a creep, it’s a b#stard, it’s a jerk
Waits like a great white shark in my mailbox
And I think that it’s hungry and it wants to eat
All the pennies in my chequing account
Get a steel barrel and put it in our living room
And use it burn all of our cardboard recycling, oh
That may keep us warm
And in February we can get desperate
And just use it to burn all of our garbage
Oh it may smell bad and cause cancer
But oh, that garbage smoke can keep us warm
The oil bill’s a b#stard, it’s a jerk, it’s a creep
Waits like a great white shark in my mailbox
And I think that it’s hungry and wants to eat
All the pennies in my chequing account
You can slice me open like a tauntaun
And you can climb right in to my skin
Oh my blubber may be gross
But it would be super warm
Or I can start feeding you gravy
Three meals a day, pack on those pounds
Cuz when you’re fat the cold don’t get in
But the diabetes sometimes does
Oh the oil bill’s a creep, it’s a b#stard, it’s a jerk
Waits like a great white shark in my mailbox
And I think that it’s hungry and wants to eat
All the pennies in my chequing account
Wish I could keep you warm
Wish I could keep you warm
Wish I could keep you warm
Wish I could keep you warm
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B.A.Johnston Lyrics – Heating Bill Blues