Waiting in the line at McRonnie’s
To order quarter pounders
They only got one cashier
So the line moves slow like Service Ontario
The manager sits by the self-service kiosk
That they have set up
He says “can I teach you to use it?”
I say “buddy, you can take a walk”
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
You don’t pay me
Go to Sobey’s to gеt a deal on butter
I say margarine nеver
The lineup is as long as when I saw E.T. with my father
They want me to use the self-service checkouts
They say it is faster
It wouldn’t be faster if they had more than two cashiers working the checkout
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
You don’t pay me
And when the machines go Skynet
And they try and take over Canada
They kill the McDonald’s manager
I scream out
“I will avenge you!”
I fight the robots
In a post-apocalyptic hellscape
But at least I don’t have to scan my own groceries
As I kill a self-service robot
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
Don’t use no self-service machines
Cuz you don’t pay me
You don’t pay me
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B.A.Johnston Lyrics – I Don’t Use Self Service Machines