Past the throes of deep December
My friends and I all reunite here
We share jokes and tokes and gossip
Laughing ’till we think we’ve lost it
It rubs off the stains of a difficult year
Your name comes up in conversation
Stories of virtue and villainy
Nice digestible soundbites
From one of our petty fights
Little digs at your dependencies
But when they ask about the full story, I say “I don’t recall”
But when I drive home into the night
I speed under the Christmas lights
Refracting through the windshield glass
The memories come rushing back
I see you in the rear view mirror
I lose my grip, forget to steer
Those 20 months, 600 days
10,000 things I want to say
I wish I’d waited one more week
I wish I’d lost the will to speak
I’m tangled up, I’m weight down
I’m desperate to get out of town
Your shirt’s still hanging on the line
I miss you and I don’t know why
It’s crystal clear inside my brain
A sick and twisted type of pain
I want it back, I want it all
But all I say is “I don’t recall”
I try to slip back into nineteen
Before you knocked my path off course [Before you knocked my path off course
But as our conversation’s flowing
That little film reel keeps on rolling
Flashbacks descend on me with no remorse
But when they ask about the full story, I say “I don’t recall”
“I don’t recall” [I don’t recall]
But the winter fog begins to lift
My recollections seem to shift
Snow crunching under tyre tracks
The memories come rushing back
I see you in the rear view mirror
I lose my grip, forget to steer
Those twenty months, 600 days
10000 things I want to say
I wish that I had cut more ties
I wish I had more alibis
The shop receipts, the window view
The albums that I lost to you
The disappointing concert trips
The times I nearly lost the script
It’s crystal clear inside my brain
A sick and twisted type of pain
I want it back, I want it all
But all I say is “I don’t recall” [I don’t recall]
Red-shifted memories
Broadcasting light beam
All of those strange intermediate feelings
Polaroid pictures
Our weekly fixtures
Lump on my soul like a burgeoning blister
I don’t want you back
But I don’t want you gone
I want confirmation there’s something beyond
All the unspooled thread
The words left unsaid
This claustrophobia I feel when I lie in bed
Now I’m back on the back roads
Away from the headlights, I’m crawling home
And I won’t be afraid of the fall
And it won’t be a lie when I say “I don’t recall”
And it won’t be a lie when I say “I don’t recall”
And it won’t be a lie when I say “I don’t recall”
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Jamie___rees Lyrics – idr