If you take a twist of lemon
And the Everclear leftover
From the Prohibition Party
Do you know what you will get?
No
You get a gross martini
But we’re not finished yet
I don’t know if drinking is the solution here
Drinking is always the solution
(sung) So you take the gross martini
And you throw it in the trash
With some apple cider vinegar
Then we have a trash can shrub
But we’re not finished yet
I’m not drinking that
Everything we need’s in the kitchen
Trust your man, and stop all your b#tchin’
Don’t you know, my dear?
The solution’s right here
So we take the trashy shrub
And we add some paper towels
And you say a magic word, like “abra-corona”
And we get some wipes à la Max
(spoken) Try ’em out
Okay, that’s impressive
Boom!
(sung) But we’re not finished yet!
No no no no no no no no no no
We’re not finished yet!
No!
(spoken) Okay, now dinner…
Good thing I’ve seen every episode of Chopped
(sung) If you heat a can of chickpeas
With a bag of frozen spinach
And a jar of marinara
Do you know what you will get?
No!
You get a nice hot stew
But we’re not finished yet
No!
Take the liquid from the chickpeas
And you toss it in a bowl
And you beat it till it’s thickened up
(spoken) One sec…
Almost…
Close enough
(sung)You’ve got a weird whipped cream
But we’re not finished yet
Why not eat like kings if we’re able?
Dim the lights, and go set the table
Pop the pricy wine
‘Cause we’re dining fine
So we take the beany whip
Add a little melted chocolate
And you blend it into something nice and dessert-y
And we get a sweet chocolate mousse
Max, this is amazing
Ha!
But we’re not finished yet!
(spoken) Bon appetit
Find more lyrics at westlyrics.com
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