New york winter, take me from this feeling i can’t name
Far from the beach i used to know
Can’t outrun my memory, so i go swimming every day
’til they close the pool and leave me in the snow alone
I need you as you were
To make what i was
I need you to wake up and wake me up
Life was plants and pasta, and now you’re here in the flesh
Right outside my window in the cold
A sunny, misplaced figure in the january gray
Sitting on my unmade bed so calmly while the tension only grows—
How am i supposed to know
What i’m supposеd to say
Beyond your pretty name?
I’vе got a lot of questions
But i don’t wanna know
Any of the answers
With maybe one exception—
And that’s, from your perspective
Are you and i okay?
Okay?
I need you as you were
To make me what i was
I need you to wake up and apologize to me
But that’s not gonna happen
When am i gonna see
That i don’t get what i want
I just get to be me, but just the me from after?
How am i supposed to know
Who that even is now?
Drenched in sweat and strain
Tired and afraid
How am i supposed to know
How to be okay?
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