Rummer, the Rumrunner Lyrics – Misbehavin’ Maidens

Rummer, the Rumrunner Lyrics by Misbehavin’ Maidens

Well I’ll tell you a story, a tale of great deeds
About a young pirate who sailed on the seas
He robbed from the rich, and he gave to himself
But in the books he never ranked high on the shelf

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease

When he went out sailing one thing was for sure
Trouble was always a-plenty in store
For Rummer he never backed down from a fight
At the edge of a sword, or a bar wench at night

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease

…and scurvy
He met up with a maiden who said she was pure
For five copper farthings and Rummer said sure
And when he was done on his face he looked pleased

But from then after that, it burns when he pees
For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger

Seems life was his only disease
…and scurvy and syphilis
Now poor Rummer upset from the burn
Went to the hospital and waited his turn

And while he was there he was prodded and stuck
Then the doctor looked up and said ‘My boy, you’re….in trouble’
For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner
The best pirate in all of the seas

It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
…and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus
Now our dear captain, amused then ashamed

Went on a quest for his pride to reclaim
He went on a bender the likes none had seen
And when he was done, all knew where he’d been
For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner

The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
…and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus and cirrhosis of the liver

Well this is the end, there isn’t much more
For after the bender our captain was poor
He met up with that maiden, who said ‘This time it’s free!’
And that was the end of his lecherous spree

For he’s Rummer, the Rum Runner
The best pirate in all of the seas
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease

…and scurvy and syphilis and tetanus
Cirrhosis, the clap and chlamydia
The herpes, the drip
The hepatitis A, B and C

And the dysentery!
It’s a bummer he ain’t getting younger
Seems life was his only disease
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Misbehavin’ Maidens Lyrics – Rummer, the Rumrunner

Misbehavin’ Maidens

Rummer, the Rumrunner