Hey what are you doing
Walking by
My house at midnight on a
Sidewalk lit by
Some dim streetlights
Are you deaf dumb & blind
Don’t you know all the dangers we’re surrounded by
Strangers with clouded eyes
Deranged neighbors & scoundrels high
On whatever has them out of their minds
It’s on the news all the time
Did you watch the news last night
Did you see the thing on the news with the folks doing those crimes
I’m gonna guess you aren’t watching the news enough
Or maybe thе planet you just landed herе from is less rough
See there’s threats everywhere you gotta look out for
& it’s not just monsters & russia anymore
Women, minorities, foreigners, teens
Any group i can lump together collectively
All have this agenda against you & me
Even though we’re just trying to live peacefully
So I wear gloves on my hands for better punches
Traps round my house in case they come in bunches
Weapons scattered round strategically
In a pattern nobody can discern but me
I work out all day news turned up all the way
To prepare myself mentally for judgement day
And you’re lucky I realized you were one of us
Cuz I almost attacked you with my spiked nunchucks
See
Everything is scary
Except for me
Everything is scary
Except for me
Everything is scary
Except for me
We live in a word that is very scary
Everything is scary
Except for me
Everything is scary
Except for me
Everything is scary
Except for me
We live in a world that is very scary
Let’s say you’re out walking in the woods by yourself
With no phone in your pocket to call for help
& let’s say it’s quiet but for trees slowly swaying
& let’s say there’s some ominous movie score playing
Did I mention it’s dark
Did I mention your heart
Is pounding so loud
That you can’t hear the sound
Of a beast approaching
Wild & hungry
Oh & let’s say you’re tied up
So you can’t run away
Your best shot is making it scared of you
So why not mention that you’re human & what humans do
Like explain the purpose of an atomic bomb
Or read him the lyrics of that Soul Sister song
Tell it we bred wolves into neutered little dogs
That wear collars that shock them if they escape our lawns
& get paraded around town naked on a leash while
We brag that they love us unconditionally
So hey play your cards right we won’t cause your extinction
You could eat off the floor of my descendants kitchens
Sounds psycho I know but there’s no other way
Earth’s nonhuman creatures make it pretty unsafe
Everything is so scary
We gotta keep our eyes open
We gotta keep our knives sharpened
We gotta be vigilant
& why not dig a pit with sharpened sticks
& cover it
With
Foliage
No one’s scared of you except for you
No one’s scared of me except for me
The universe is scary kids
About to get scarier
At this age I am aware
I probably should be hairier
Life roller coaster host
Scary phone voice
Pick tone to boast
Heavy armor layer coats
Pad clad lads
Gentlemen rap raise a ruckus
Forget spiked nunchuckus
I’m talkin hair-brained hocus pocus
Hide your hide
By wearing stuff on the outside
& hold your noses
Choking on air
Cologne ghosts everywhere
Smellin people that used to be there
Perfume poltergeists
The news is on all the time
Watch it if you choose to worry
I say a walk and you scurry
Disconnect the blue connector hurry
A starter kit will kill
Toot in common wind
And think it’s skillet temp skill
Rip a skeeter killer
Spark wand thriller
All Howells Eve
Happy Howell-ween
Everything everything is so scary except for me
To be honest it’s exhausting living like this
Trying to stay prepared & alert & fit
My weapons polished, sharp & clean
Today’s outgoing warning on my voicemail machine
Warpaint applied, vitals protected
All of my favorite news channels selected
Stockpiling gas & gunpowder & flares
& feeding the mailmen trapped under my stairs
Leave me alone
In my fortified home
The one place on earth that’s an HD safe zone
Quit clogging my radio with subversive thoughts
& provoking me through all the news that I watch
Why can’t it be more like when I was kid
When one hour of news was all we needed
But now it’s on all the time so open your eyes
Find more lyrics at westlyrics.com
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