I’ve been drinkin’ a lot again
Losin’ track of who I am
And I’ve smokin’ lots of cigarettes
I light another before I put out
The one that’s in my hand
I find myself overcome with regret
Eight years flushed down the drain
Wasted on f#ckin’ nothin’
But some ego servicin’
I’m gonna shave my head
And dress for a change
Dress to feel different
For once
I’m so bored of myself
I’m losin’ my senses
And I’m not sure
What I’m gonna do
I feel constantly nauseous
Is it self loathing or malnourishment
I don’t do nothin’
But dissociate in candlelight
While listenin’ to black metal
Alonе
When I should be
Working artistically
And cleanin’ thе house up
I stay surrounded
Empty bottles and cigarette butts
Copenhagen wintergreen spit cups
And
Food wrappers and bags
Food wrappers and bags
I feel so cold
As my substance abuse
Once again takes hold
Of me
I yearn to feel numb
When I’m alone
And I’m alone a lot more than I ever f#ckin’ wanted to be
God, I don’t know where the f#ck that went
Shit
Bro I just lost all my artistic ability
That’s f#ckin’- I must’ve
f#ck
Fu- I need another beer
f#ck shit
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