I’m the Ball Thief
I’ll steal your balls
Then I’ll sell them
At the town mall
I’ll get you when you least expect it
Take your balls then make an exit
I sell them to the hospital
35 grand for each circle
I use the money to buy an orchard
I steal their balls once they’re tortured
I was sitting on the toilet
Taking a dump
When I saw a man whose balls were plump
I ducked under the stall
And I had the gall
To grab his testes
His name was paul
I paid all my taxes
I give things to charity
I feed the homeless
But I steal their testicles
I’m the Ball Thief
I’ll steal your balls
Then I’ll sell them
At the town mall
I’ll get you when you least expect it
Take your balls then make an exit
I sell them to the hospital
35 grand for each circle
I use the money to buy an orchard
I steal their balls once they’re tortured
Cladded in turquoise
Polo and khakis
With a yellow visor
And all my lackeys
You’d better run
And steel your nerves
‘Cause I’ll steal your balls
Mark my words
The man named Paul
Asked for his balls
I told him “Nah”
Then we had a brawl
I made him bawl
He tried to crawl
Out of the mall
Down his throat, I shoved his balls
The Ball Thief
The Ball Thief
The Ball Thief
The Ball Thief
The Ball Thief
The Ball Thief
I’m the Ball Thief
I’m the Ball Thief!
I’ll steal your balls
Then I’ll hide them in my walls
I’ll take both your testicles
I’ll take ’em all
Ball Thief
Hold your balls tight
‘Cause I’ll take them in the night
You’ll have a terrible fright
When they’re both gone
Ball Thief
Ball Thief, Ball Thief
Ball Thief, Ball Thief
Ball Thief, Ball Thief
Ball Thief, Ball Thief
Ball-
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