And now it’s time for silly songs with Larry
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt, who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”
We are the pirates who don’t do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything
Well, I’ve never been to Greenland
And I’ve never been to Denver
And I’ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I’ve never been to Moscow
And I’ve never been to Tampa
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
Cause we’re the pirates who don’t do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything
And I never hoist the mainstay
And I never swab the poop deck
And I never veer to starboard
‘Cause I never sail at all
And I’ve never walked the gangplank
And I’ve never owned a parrot
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
‘Cause we’re the pirates who don’t do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything
Well, I’ve never plucked a rooster
And I’m not too good at ping pong
And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall
And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk
And I’ve never gotten head lice
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
[Spoken Interlude: Pa Grape (Mr. Lunt)]
Huh? What are you talking about? What does a rooster or mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
(Hey, that’s right! We’re supposed to sing about pirate-y things)
And who’s ever kissed a chipmunk? That’s just nonsense, why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
(I think you look like Cap’n Crunch)
Huh? No I don’t
(Do too)
Do not
(You’re making me hungry)
That’s it, you’re walking the plank
(Says who?)
Says the Captain
(Oh yeah? Aye, aye, Cap’n Crunch! Hee hee hee)
Arrrgh
(Yikes)
And I’ve never licked a spark plug
And I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug
And I’ve never painted daisies
On a big red rubber ball
And I’ve never bathed in yogurt
And I don’t look good in leggings
(You just don’t get it)
And we’ve never been to Boston in the fall
Pass the chips! Who’s got the remote?
Here it is!
Time for Geraldo!
It’s definitely time for Wapner
Oh, I don’t like this show
Hey, look! I found a quarter!
Find more lyrics at westlyrics.com
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